It was six AM and it was one AM
We spoke in silence
and whispers from the sheets
She told me she felt disgusting
I held my gut and buried my head
Oceans...
She called before and I slept poorly
a thousand iterations of her voice
That swarmed my painfully ****** mind
Oceans between us...
I mentioned puzzle pieces
and alluded to something like a movie
She questioned my rambling
and I closed my eyes, listened to the fireworks
She met other boys
ghosts in the bad dreams haunting
Memories of Jordan
memories of Jorie
memories of Mimi, Annie and the rest
More oceans between us

  I feel so disconnected

I wished I was dead so I couldn't hear her again
but I've wished this before and nothing
Maybe her eyes could pierce my heart
but her eyes wander, and I wonder where she is
She's sounding scared
I'm apathetic by nature, I wish I could wish I wasn't
Are you blinded by the dangerous
because I am too
Are you flailing listlessly into existence
because I understand
Are you feeling better
because I want that

are you
because I am

It's a recurring scene
the unavailable, the broken and the best
I'm drifting away and it's a world in that ocean
You're with me today in hazy faded memories
and I laugh when I think of your laugh

I really shouldn't fall in love
with somebody who
can't love me back
because...
It's so far to Missouri and flights are expensive
So I'll sit in my sadness
and dream of you