I keep hearing them say,  it'll get better in time.
It'll be worth it.
I promise you please don't give up, it'll be worth it.
and I do not understand.
anything can happen in time, and what if it simply gets worse as it has already?
it is my ******* ******* and I am its ******* worthless *****.
who cannot simply walk away.
But how do you walk away from something invisible?
how do you walk away when it is all you have?
the only one that's been there. My little friend who isn't really a friend at all.
golley.
I am going insane.
I have full conversations with myself in my head, and sometime I laugh out loud while having them.
because my little friend was always there.
and every time I try to escape, to overpower it, to run away,
it gets worse so much ******* worse,
and I just can't anymore.