Jun 2014
He'd say to me, "What if I died right now? What would you do?"
In those seconds, between his question and my answer, they thoughts that ran through my mind were endless.
I'd think, if you were to die right now, I would take take my life and easy last 1…2…3 breathes next to your corps, that way, our souls would be aligned and we would inevitably be together for always and eternity during life after death. Our shadows would be able to run free against the wind and we wouldn't have to worry about anything except our locking lips and dare to stare into each others eyes and baby everything, will be okay.
"What if I died right now? What would you do?"
If you were to die right now, I would turn mute. For I do not want to speak the words of my mind if your name will be brought up constantly and I refuse to let the words of love and passion exit my lips if it is not towards you because mama told me never to lie, and I will not to the boys and to the men who say those words the way you once did and I. I would rip off the bracelet I made for you but never gave and never lay a hand on your sweatshirt ever again for the gorgeous scent of you would make me sick to my ******* stomach. I would shred any poem ever written in my notebook with the mention of your name, your laugh, your eyes, and your stupid, awkward ******* walk with anger and dismay. I would cut part of your body ever inked with your name in ballpoint pen with the blade hidden deep inside the walls of my pencil sharpener.
Because you, are like the rain I adore so much in May and the reason I did not stop myself from breathing on nights that I felt so alone.
"What if I died right now? What would you do?"
If you were to die right now,I would take the bus to the homes of the girls who 'cared for you' and I would kiss them. I would kiss their mouths, cheeks, jawlines, stomach, thighs, nose and arms so hard with my fist! They pretended to care about you when they never loved you! They never loved you like I loved and still love you! Nobody has ever and will never love you the way I do!
And I hope you know, that the reason I do not compliment you daily is because I'm not sure whether to start from top to bottom or bottom to top. I would try to make it easier and compare you to the most beautiful thing in the world but how do you compare you to yourself, I don't get it!
Would would I do if you died right now?!
I would loose my ******* mind because if such a magnificent crystal as yourself dies then why should somebody like me, so much as a pebble, deserve to live?!
What made you think that I was prepared for this question?!
What made you think that I was prepared to even think about loosing you?!
Dear; You,
I get it that you and I did not last forever, but I cannot stand up to that ******* reality and face the fact that I already lost you!
So please, do not as me questions such as "What if I died right now what would you do?"
Because I have no idea
In those seconds, between his question and my answer, they thoughts that ran through my mind were endless.
I'd think, if you were to die right now, I would take take my life and easy last 1…2…3 breathes next to your corps, that way, our souls would be aligned and we would inevitably be together for always and eternity during life after death. Our shadows would be able to run free against the wind and we wouldn't have to worry about anything except our locking lips and dare to stare into each others eyes and baby everything, will be okay.
"What if I died right now? What would you do?"
If you were to die right now, I would turn mute. For I do not want to speak the words of my mind if your name will be brought up constantly and I refuse to let the words of love and passion exit my lips if it is not towards you because mama told me never to lie, and I will not to the boys and to the men who say those words the way you once did and I. I would rip off the bracelet I made for you but never gave and never lay a hand on your sweatshirt ever again for the gorgeous scent of you would make me sick to my ******* stomach. I would shred any poem ever written in my notebook with the mention of your name, your laugh, your eyes, and your stupid, awkward ******* walk with anger and dismay. I would cut part of your body ever inked with your name in ballpoint pen with the blade hidden deep inside the walls of my pencil sharpener.
Because you, are like the rain I adore so much in May and the reason I did not stop myself from breathing on nights that I felt so alone.
"What if I died right now? What would you do?"
If you were to die right now,I would take the bus to the homes of the girls who 'cared for you' and I would kiss them. I would kiss their mouths, cheeks, jawlines, stomach, thighs, nose and arms so hard with my fist! They pretended to care about you when they never loved you! They never loved you like I loved and still love you! Nobody has ever and will never love you the way I do!
And I hope you know, that the reason I do not compliment you daily is because I'm not sure whether to start from top to bottom or bottom to top. I would try to make it easier and compare you to the most beautiful thing in the world but how do you compare you to yourself, I don't get it!
Would would I do if you died right now?!
I would loose my ******* mind because if such a magnificent crystal as yourself dies then why should somebody like me, so much as a pebble, deserve to live?!
What made you think that I was prepared for this question?!
What made you think that I was prepared to even think about loosing you?!
Dear; You,
I get it that you and I did not last forever, but I cannot stand up to that ******* reality and face the fact that I already lost you!
So please, do not as me questions such as "What if I died right now what would you do?"
Because I have no idea
