If I could say just one thing to you [and believe me, I am] I would tell you to stop looking "out there". I would tell you that you have everything you need. I would tell you that you are everything you need. Nobody can add anything to that. and be **** sure, nobody can take anything away.
But you must share yourself with those around you: your body, your mind, your words, your heart. They are not for the PICKING. They are not for the TAKING. They are for the sharing. They are for someone to enjoy with you. But lovely lovely love stop looking, please! Release the pressure, drop the anxiety, ignore the stress. It does not serve you. It is merely in your head, not in your bones. Not in your flesh. There is no "doing" in worrying. There is only worrying. And beautiful, that's not you.
If I could tell you one thing it would be this: There are no rules that you do not make for yourself. There is no time that you must do anything, only times when you can do something. Just opportunities that cyclically arise and fall away before you. Did you miss one? That's ok. Will another one come? Of course it will. Let things come of their own accord and you will end up happier than you could have dreamed.
There's nothing on the other side of that door. In fact, you've already been there. You're there right now. There is no lock holding you back. No lock keeping everything from you. You've got a pocket full of keys, and no locks.
Oh, if you'd only let me tell you, I'd tell you everything in the world is alive in you.