Stormy weather is God's way of saying we could have done better Or tried harder The sound of breathing is just the rhythm Undoing all the potential I used to have I hide under my covers hoping that my fears Are as afraid of the dark as I am My smile is just the curve of the lies I tell myself “Everything is going to be okay, one day.” I might be sleeping two hours a day And that’s a long time To be with someone you don’t like and doesn’t like you back Or maybe it’s because I’m scared of what my self-concise might tell me In my dreams The alarm clock that illuminates my room reminds me I’m not on time for being myself. I missed being who I wanted to be A few years ago And I haven’t caught up It reminds me of how far I have to go and how little time I have left Sometimes I have to let a tear fall, to remind myself I’m alive Every day I memorize my name So it wouldn’t sound weird as I talk to myself in the mirror I want my name to sound like something I can be proud of We are our own heroes and until we realize our strength We’ll bend at the knee to heed the directions of people who know us less than we know ourselves It seems impossible because when I cry I have to no idea why When I laugh I don’t understand that I’m the joke Like a clown without makeup Like the girl sitting in the back of class: self-conscious about her bad hair day I love the mess because it’s how I really feel and at least She’s brave enough to embrace it and face it. I simply hide behind my shower curtain of indulgence and cowardice Unfortunately, I’m not very fast and my problems are catching up I’m throwing up my hands in shackles Limiting my ability to wipe my tears After 23 years I understand we’re all kids in adult clothing Trying to fill our baggy pants with our own pride and big egos We have neck ties of lies we tell others to fell a little bigger Stripped down to loose shorts we con show the tattoos of humility We weren’t ready to show And unable to let go Make it through the night and look outside The sunrise is simply God’s interpretation of what our dreams may have looked like He does it because we can’t remember the details