I was only fifteen when I met a boy
who made the butterflies consume me
and my feet crumble beneath me
I was only  fifteen but I knew what i wanted
and it was him.

They say be careful what you wish for
and this still remains true,
I should have bundled my wishes up
and taken them all back.
Because I met a boy who destroyed my heart
As soon as I laid it in his hands.
Then I swore up and down that I would wrap
Barbed wire around my bruised heart
And never let it out again.

Three years later I sat down in a chair
And let a woman pierce my body,
Lacing ink through my skin,
Reminding me to me brave
I had done worse things to my body than stick a needle and ink
But yet again I swore I would never sit back down in that chair.

I’m now eighteen and I’ve met a boy
Who makes my heart sing a tune it hasn’t before
Who makes me feel safe and whole
I no longer want to keep my heart in barbed wire.
I no longer want to seal it up.
Because I’ve almost forgotten how it felt
To have my heart yanked out of my chest
And handed back to me.

That’s the beautiful thing,
You do it all over again
Because you forget.
Mothers forget the pain of bearing their first-born child
People forget what it fells like to have ink poked into their skin
You forget what if feels like to have your heart broken.

And you do it all over again.