Please let the records show
That I am an innocent man
Sure I was at the scene of the crime
Sure the gun was still in my hand

If I may be permitted to approach the bench
With my perfect alibi
Since I was nowhere near the scene at the time
And clearly did not commit this hideous crime

I even brought in a credible witness
My dear old sweet mother to vouch for me
We were in her kitchen exchanging culinary secrets
I'd fill the court in on all the details but it's a secret you see

And to tell the truth the details might bore you
And who's got time to sing that song
Now Judge you know I've been here before
And have I ever steered you wrong

So let's just let the records show
That in no way was I involved
Striking it clear and ending it here
Calling this whole thing off