I'm writing this only because I know you won't see it.
Because I let him touch me this time.
And this time I wasn't drunk.
And this time he didn't drug me.
This time he hit me instead.
Luckily I tripped on my way out the door
Just a few days later.
And I was able to chuck the bruises and blood
Up to that incident.

This time I got pregnant.
And this time I couldn't tell anyone.
And I couldn't tell you,
Because of us losing the last baby.
And now this one didn't even belong to you.
It didn't feel like it belonged to me either.
It just felt like his.
Like he robbed a bank
And used my insides as his hiding place.

I got rid of it.
Sam drove me.
It wasn't legal,
But I wasn't hurt.
It wasn't a smart decision,
I was very drunk.
I don't regret it.

I scrub my skin for an hour in the shower,
Every day.
But I couldn't scrub the insides.

I took eleven tests to be sure.
Never have I ever seen so many double lines.

It's been a few months.
This time I've just moved on.
The best way to forget is to never tell a soul.