You are loud
And you are drunk
And I turn up my music
Try to mask the shrillness of your laughter
The bus is dark
And it is late
And I sit in my usual bubble of stillness
As if I am alone.
I hate that I can hear you.
Takes me out of my head
And into your world
Where I've got no power.
I sit and gaze out the tinted window at the streetlights
And a car passes- whoosh
Sudden like a knife
Its sharp slice of color through the blackness
Stirs my blood
And I check my thoughts
You are still
So ******* loud
And so ******* empty
Here
Take some of this
And burn with it.
See if you laugh then.
But I say nothing to you.
That is your place
And this
Is mine.
My heel connects with the grungy floor
And strikes a spark
Bang
Like a gun.
Bang
And flames lick the soft rubber of my boot
It smells like a car wreck.
I look away
Disinterested
And wherever I flick my gaze
Embers flare.
Fire races down the walkway towards the back window
Orange and
Breathlessly fast.
Long shadows dance on the walls
Glint off the windows
And throw your faces into sharp relief
Now you look
Like laughing corpses
Skeletal and distorted in firelight.
I like you better this way.
My coat catches
And I feel the heat as
The flames from the floor
Lap at my fingers
Like whining dogs
And I feel them blister
But they remain smooth and white.
I flex them, testing their new hardness
They are bone white
Bone hard
And they clink together
And the flames
Do not matter.
You are still loud
And drunk
And laughing
And you have no idea
Who you're sitting across from.