First day of school.
I sit down in class
and my eyes meet his.
He gives a funny head tilt and smile.
and that has been the extent of our communication.
I've had a crush on him since.
not exactly, a romantic wanting crush,
a strange crush.
I'm not sure I'd ever date him,
or that I want him to like me,
I just like him,
if that makes sense.
I like the way he looks,
I think he's funny and odd...
but not many people like him.
in fact most people hate him.
he's annoying and weird
and dumb
and my close friends slander him-
and it makes me feel ashamed for liking him.
It's a year now, I still like him
and find him interesting
but why do I feel ashamed?
I don't see what the others see,
I don't see why he's so hated.
I'm not expecting him to ever like me back
or even acknowledge me,
I just like him and that's that,
and I don't understand why everyone else hates him
and why it makes me feel bad for liking him.
The way they talk about him
and give each other looks
when he speaks in class,
it makes me dare not breath of a word of my liking of him,
makes me feel bad for feeling like this.
I shouldn't feel ashamed for liking that tall skinny boy.
I do.
But I shouldn't.