She was a heap
of tangled wires
on the floor of my bedroom;
I stayed up until four
in the morning
desperately trying
to pull her apart

She was a pile of sheets
all folded over herself
at the foot of my bed;
I stayed home all day
desperately trying
to unravel her

She was her sweatshirt
dripping crimson from
the sleeves,
She was the note she left
on my dresser,
She was the pills her doctor
prescribed her,
She was drawn curtains,
She was locked doors,
She was gone before I found her,
She was her diagnosis all along,
*She was never mine