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May 2014
Of all the people that I've stayed loyal to
I never thought that traitor would be you
You stood reluctant to their verbal attacks
But this time you will face the facts

You are lucky that I was there to make sure you were safe
So you would still love them and your opinion wouldn't change

You are the only thing that I've ever come close to caring about
And I value that more than I've ever shown
Notwithstanding all those times I would act out
I still struggle at the thought of facing them on my own

I hope they continue to look down on me
It's not like I'm not used to this
The better person is all I want to be

I will swallow my pride if that's what it takes
This is a sacrifice I'm willing to make

If I could turn back time I would have done it by now
Because as you can see I'm still affected somehow
And that will never change although sometimes I doubt
Whether or not you will still be proud

I will not let this thing get the best of me
Despite all the struggle I've gone through for you
Just do not promise me something that you can't keep
I've already sacrificed so much for you

One day you'll comprehend how many selfish things I did
But I think for now it's better off that you don't know
It's not that I don't care to explain, the honest truth is I am at the point where I have nothing to say now
Just don't underestimate my ability to protect the ones I love Please help me before I collapse into another breakdown

It's not because of the fact that you were brainwashed
It's the fact that you would take their side
The lessons taught to you were filled with manipulation
All I want to be here as your guide

Tell me exactly how you feel
No more hiding anything that seems ideal
How can you look at me like you have no faith
When all I want is to keep you safe
For you I'd give up everything

Why would I ever try to hurt you? I swear my intentions were so high
So you weren't exposed to all the conflict I contained
you from, so don't say goodbye
because it wasn't you that I was leaving

I don't expect you too look up to me
If anything that's the last thing I want you to do
I just want you to remember one thing
That I will always be here for you

I don't care if my impression on you has changed
I will look after you no matter how you look at me
I already know that I've become a little deranged
So don't try to give me agony

Does it make you smile when you see this look on my face?
Will it make you frown when you see I've changed so suddenly?

I will never let such a little thing ever get the best of me
Despite all the struggle I've gone through I just wanted to protect you
Please stop promising me these things that you can never keep I've already sacrificed so much for you I'm not willing to lose
Written by
Alexander Cole  Frederick, Maryland
(Frederick, Maryland)   
891
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