oh god how it hurts to ignore the one you love
how it takes every bit of energy left inside you to prevent your fingers from hitting
that familiar keyboard and responding in the way muscle memory has grown to know
it hurts because i want you to care but i know if i do not show caring you will stop
and that scares me
but what scares me more is another type of pain i feel
because it also hurts when you mention her and i see her
it hurts when you two are together and the way you smile around her
it hurts the way her name pours off your tongue like the sweetest honey
and now im hurting myself to stop hurting myself
i am deliberately preventing myself from taking in what i felt like i needed
and that hurts