i want it all.
your sleepy murmurs in my ear
as you drift away on a sea of dreams, the
gentle strokes of your fingers,
soft against my spine, the way
you hold me with your whole body.

i watched the moonlight draining onto
your bedroom walls as i lay beside your
slumbering warmth & felt something like happiness
radiating from my core.  your sheets danced with shadowplay
as i listened to your steady breaths
in & out,
couldn’t bear to slip away.

here’s the truth:
your arms feel like home,
like safety,
like a place i never want to leave.  
when you held me in that meadow,
wrapped in dreams & lust & a stark-flecked sky,
whispered the first i-love-you,
i wanted it all.

i want it all,
want to be yours,
crave you in the most indelible of ways,
urgent & deathless.
it’s finally time.  throwing out the razors.
cleansing the smoke from my lungs.
trading the bad habits i wear like shackles
to drown in your skin & sweat & sunshine.

maybe i don’t have a good reason for wanting it.
maybe i just know.