Now where to start? At the start or the last point I'll make? I'll just try my best to make some sense. Have I not been the same or has everyone changed? I wanted the world to stop when it started to crash. I don't know how nor when but my motivation has simply drifted asleep and left my eyes wide open and worried I try to think of something, a simile, a metaphor, a "like" or "as" but i cant help but stutter and realize nothing I've ever known can compare to this chapter of me
My thoughts have left me and buried me as I did to them And just as before, they findΒ Β way to dig themselves back up I can drown them out with another digital whatever or another episode of a show which I'll laugh for a few moments or maybe I'll just let them roam free and I will explain just what these thoughts are or at least try in the start of this chapter of me.
In the day which feels like yesterday, something happened. I've tried finding a chorus that described how i didn't fight and the constant thoughts have dragged me back into the cave I've been working so hard to get out of. You didn't mean for this, of course I know nobody does. And I lost the map in the storm. I don't want you in my life but i find you in nearly every minuet of it. So I'm sorry if I don't return the smile, or the small wave, if i try to avoid, and i know I'm breaking because that's the theme in this chapter of me.
But as I go throughout the day, I cant help but wear a pathetic face one that says "I'm here and I have a problem call me out so that way I have an excuse to vent." I know full well that it wont work but what else is there to do simply another motif in this chapter of me.
I'll turn away now and try to get my heart pumping again as I look away. I'm afraid to do a lot of things But as I turn back to that person only for a second, praying that maybe you'll hear my internal speech, I want to pull you aside and explain how if there is any part of you that wants to try again, just know that there's still room for you in this chapter of me
This is a huge one for me. I want to move closer to her.