The life of a self harmer is complicated, sometimes orderly and routine.
Or perhaps chaotic and jagged.
The life of a self harmer can be happy, struggled, or crushing.
We are not trying for your attention, we are for ourselves.
We feel inferior when we look at others self harm
Our minds sometimes revolve around this.
Gathering supplies, and sneaking around.
Hiding cuts, burns, bruises, or scars.
So prepare to feel alone, and inferior.
Prepare to lie, and withhold the truth.
Brace yourself for the constant worry that wounds will be infected.
Pack a bag of anti-anxiety pills for all the triggers that will be thrown your way.
Prepare to go back and forth with yourself: "I want it so bad." and "I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE."
Have fun trying to pick out swim suits, or changing in gym.
Be careful about panic attacks when you cut deep or bleed a lot.
Get ready to jump for joy at razors, and for the triggers of any sharp object.
You'll wonder if you've gone crazy, if you could possibly not be insane.
Once again prepare yourself for the other people who harm themselves, you will see them at school, online, at the stores, you will hear about them everywhere.
You will hear people make fun of it, you will want to yell and scream.
You will wonder why you still do it, and how you could ever think the way you do.
And don't forget how you will feel so much guilt and regret almost every-time.
Don't let it slip your mind that you will always have it with you, and no matter how long you've been away from it.
Because it is with other people.
I almost forgot that you will feel like you can't get away.
And when other people find out, people that love you, it will hurt so bad to see them hurt.
They will be angry, and they won't understand. They care though.
And there will be so much more if you go down this road.
It's so hard to climb back up, but it is possible.
Sometimes I yell at people back on dry land, and ask them how they got there.
It's different for everyone, but please stay dry and off this cliff.