I used to hide out in blankets of ice
behinds walls of steel
reading a book written in his blood.
I used to let his ink seep into my nerves
and down into my spine
dissolving the backbone I once had.
I used to cover the mirror with rose-coloured tape
hoping to shy away from self-loathing
while laughter left my lips in bouts.
I cut my hair, hoping it would cut him out
and grow happiness in its absence.
But then you snuck into the crook of my heart
through the cracks in my skin.
And you saw a body pulsing with more than just blood
more than just flesh and bone and muscle.
You can trace my anger with your eyes
and settle the fear that ignites my bones.
I almost ran away, clutching my brokenness to my
chest but you didn’t let go.
You’re the first to make my tongue bleed with
happiness and melt my ribs into your body.
You taste like sin and smell like trouble
but I’ve never been good enough to care.
And even though I swore I’d never falter over
another man’s face as long as I lived,
all that’s ever been missing
was you.
-lf-