3 easy ways to die;
1. Have a cigarette daily.
[ die 10 years earlier ]
2. Drink alcohol daily.
[ die 30 years earlier ]
3. Fall in love with someone
who doesn't love you back.
[ y o u ' l l - d i e - e v e r y d a y ]
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TEN WAYS TO DEAL WITH A BROKEN HEART
1. pour yourself some scotch gulp it down and then cry about how you never loved that 'bitch' anyway or for the the ladies pour a glass of wine and cry about how you wasted the 'best' 4 years of your life with him
2. go shopping at stores you know they hated and pick up that plaid shit with the ugly collar
3. go shopping at stores you know they love (most likely a trendy boutique or something) on MWF because that's when they get new shipments in wearing your new, ugly, resentful, plaid shirt
4. go to that action movie you really wanted to see alone and get the biggest tub of popcorn you can because she would've hated it or rent the latest chick flick cocoon yourself on you couch (not because your bed that still smells like him) and eat all the ice-cream possible
5. creep through their Facebook twitter and instagram 3 weeks later see pictures of them out partying start posting old pictures of yourself before you met 4 years ago on that sunday
6. go walk your dog in the dog park have it piss on your shoes and remember the only reason you bought that goddamn god was for the person you wasted your last 4 years with
7. take up smoking to deal with the stress and because 'someone' made you stop and you pray to god that they catch you doing it on the street one day and that they care.
8. run into them in the store one day hand in hand with someone who isn't nearly as good looking as you whose voice is annoying who doesn't glare at you with malice like thought they would Lie say your here to buy soup for your new significant other whose sick say it's a pretty recent relationship not 'Facebook official' yet Laugh Walk Away Look back at the pair and realize you've been replaced by Someone Better
9. go on a bar crawl wake up in a strangers bed regret your choices Do it again the next day
10. lay in bed with your new lover watch them sleep and have their face occasionally switch into that good for nothing who you wasted the last 2 years getting over brush your lovers hair out of their eyes reach over to the nightstand for paper and pen start to write love poetry about that good for nothing you're still in love with