If you see me lying in the street, with a bottle of whiskey at my feet
And you hear me mumbling under my breathe
It is because my pants are wet.
I had a case of the runs, and you know that is no fun.
It is such a disgrace when you are covered from feet to waist.
Therefore, I will lay here on the ground until by the police I am found.
It is easier to say it happened when I was drunk
Rather than hear all their junk.
When I got home, I was surprised to see that there was a bath waiting for me.
I took off my clothes and into the garbage it went
As I sprayed it with “HEAVEN SENT “.
I climbed into the water and let out a scream – there was
Something burning in between.
My wife came running in when she heard my cry.
Then I heard her say to my surprise
OH MY GOODNESS, OH MY SOUL, I NEVER SAW A ****
WITH A RED A—HOLE.
        (Ha ha – we need comedy in our lives)