I cant help it I play with it
all of the time, Its starting to
smell funny, but I just have
not got the time.

I get funny looks when I walk
about, people saying I smell
like a CHEESE BOARD what the
hell they on about.

I cant help it,  I have an idle hand
down the trousers it goes and
away plays my hand.

I woke up one morning and some
thing I could smell, my hand
still down there I sniffed my fingers
HOLY CRAP what is that  awful smell.

I asked my dog to sniff, he hide in the
corner whimpering , it cant be that bad
so I had another smell. Like mouldy
cheese with sweaty ***** was this
god awful smell.

It was worse than stilton, at least
you can eat that well, this would bring
a girl to tears and no girl would
touch my stick. It would fall off
from lack of use so wash it
and wash it well.