I Am

I am the the one who writes,
on your Facebook wall.
I am the reason,
for Humpty Dumpties great fall.
Most of you probably never even read,
you all dig the hole, I just plant the seed.
Without me, you know you'd all be bored,
I have a trophy case, but never won an award.
Writing is fun, oh how I love to shock,
for you who don't like,
you can **** my ****.
I can have you laughing,
rolling on the floor,
I can drink your blood,
til I want no more.
I can make you squirm,
I can make you squeal,
if ever found guilty,
I certainly will appeal.
I have no **** money,
not even a lousy dime,
but still I won't steal,
or commit any crime.
Living my life to the fullest,
dodging all oncoming bullets.
If you don't like what I write,
I don't give a ****,
there isn't a hole,
where my **** wouldn't fit.
I am the writer, who writes on your wall,
I just snorted an entire eight ball.
I am Santa, you all are my elf,
and if you don't like it,
just go **** yourself.