I've never felt so helpless.
Watching people who seemed indestructible
Break down before my eyes
Is no easy fleet
Being ****** into situations
In which I have no control
Has never been this hard
Will things be okay?
Can anything defuse this chaos?
I'm stuck between
Being the protector and holding it together
And
Completely falling apart.
I feel like a child
Who wants nothing more than comfort
My only relief
Comes from the cigarette between my curled lips
The sweet release of smoke
Is close enough to total bliss.
For now, I guess
I'll keep ingesting more of this tobacco cocktail
Looking for answers
And staring at the sun.