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Mar 2014
A constant longing
for something unknown
because it hasn't been experienced
Escaping the physical to find "home"
Away from a mind always on the fence

4 walls, that I've hopped many times to test other grasses
Have the scars to prove it, now I just stare in the sky as each cloud passes

a void in myself exists, and it heavily affects my soul
kind words are heard, but can't process a response
I'm glad we met, but I must surely go
Hoping that your feelings for me are no more than fond,
I want to leave you with no wounds
That's why, no matter how much I care, my leaving wasn't too soon.

Let me hide away, and sleep 'til noon
I wouldn't recommend planting your seeds here for fear that they won't bloom.

I have an endless memory
Blessing and a curse
Some moments are so significant they need to be dispersed.
Some though, are kept silent for those I've seen at their worst.

often  indescribable
pain is undeniable
questions never cease
waiting for my release

I can't hold on to anyone, without unintentionally hurting them
more love comes into play and it happens all over again

Fluctuations and regurgitations of contemplations
have me falling away from aspirations,
chokeholds of *******, yet always fascinating.

I guess, in this moment I'm not above saying that I hurt
Whatever's missing is around, and it lurks.
Curiosity leaves me in day dreams so vivid I can feel every sensation
Then I come back.  Impatient.

Just to leave again.

Returning to depart for my heart is frail
Honestly if I didn't write, few would really even see this ship sail.
weak moment.

Maybe it has to do with a bond I never had
My life would have been much different had I known my dad.
I see his smile, I can feel his care
but these feelings, I can't compare to anything in my mind that's defined.  

Sorry if I've hurt you emotionally - I carry a heaviness, a toll no one can see.

I just need to step outside and breathe.  Have a good day Youniverse.  Peace.
RyanMJenkins
Written by
RyanMJenkins  30/M/MKE,WI
(30/M/MKE,WI)   
  618
   L, August, Celine, ---, Julia and 1 other
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