Phantom tickings of hours laid awake staring at white blank wall ,
You see u am not here,
I have been gone for what seems like forever
I don't know who Iam anymore
You have injected into me flowing through my veins like lead
I am weighed down 
Heavy heart 
clinging on to old memories like a child holding a mothers hand in a bussling city sidewalk 
I knew I'd loose myself without your guidance
Weighed down in bed 
I've realized how big my bed is how much youve consumed every inch of me
Raw and scratched 
inside out you've severed my vocal cords 
I can't even objectify to your injustice 
Youve crawled out 
And for some ******* reason I still sleep with your sweaters hoping that they'll start to smell like you
I smoke your brand of cigarettes hoping that you'll call before I OD 
I love you to the point where I hate you