Rachel, it's just weird. You're always on the phone with her... it's just weird.

Mom, dear God if only you knew how much that hurt me. Those words struck my heart and tore it into pieces. Those words broke me.

Worst part was... you knew we were talking. How do you think that made her feel? Think she felt as much pain as I did? She just so happened to come back at that moment and I had to put on a smile like nothing hurt me.

I can't take it anymore The fake smiles and the lies and the *need to feel. How will I survive this summer? Being around my family will drive me utterly insane. I can't even have you by me for one day this week just because of how afraid I am. If people can easily the signs at school, then sure as hell my Mom can tell that I have fallen for you

You have become my crutch and my dear, I am very glad it is you by my side. If only you could really be here. In a perfect world, you'd be by my side and I'd have you close and my scars wouldn't exist. The books I'd read would have perfect endings and the songs I'd sing would always be on key. And the world would be just as beautiful as you are to me.

Drift away darling... I might not be here when you wake up.