Feb 2014
In December, I remember, I walked away
My boots were barely on as I stormed out of your doorway.
I left without a reason,
Without saying goodbye,
I just left.
But he said goodbye to me the moment he said those words to me,
His true intentions instintly became the reality I was always afraid to see,
Because you see, this boy was the only I saw gold and time in.
I saw purity in his soul,
The intentions of god that others could not witness, but I saw them.
I was proud of him.
He said good bye to me, the moment he broke that hope,
He walked away before I step out of his house,
Before I ever put my boots and struggled with the zipper of my coat.
He said nothing, as did I
The silence that was always louder than our words had finally won
That Decemeber, I knew things could never be the same
I loved you so much my heart hurt,
I felt that intolerable pain in my chest, as I ran to my car.
Everything became a blur to me,
That moment all the memories I had held on to oh so tight,
Became a lie,
something that was hidden by an invisible cloth
It could not be seen by the fool in love
I sat in my car in a second of pure silence,
I couldnt' think,
I couldn't feel,
I just sat.
My heart started to beat faster than a drum,
I panicked,
And I couldn't have reversed any faster out of a drive way than I did that day
In the middle of the street diagonally i stayed there, while my foot laid on the break ready to put my car in drive,
I ubruptly stopped.
He ran out of his house screaming my name,
Telling me to stop,
We both knew he didn't mean the car, or me leaving.
Its almost kinda sad, two lost souls who are afraid to speak,
Who are afraid to love.
He banged his hands on my window, and in that second so much happened when your eyes interlocked.
I felt it,
He felt it,
We both knew.
You knew that day in decemeber when the sky was gray and cool that nothing was the same.
I rolled my window down and a breeze of nothing hit my skin
Shocked I looked at him, but missing his eyes.
Holding my breath and my tears
The air was muted
He could not see the pain my eyes held because I could not face him.
He finally said something, something so irrelevant it cringed my skin
The dreamer I am,
thought finally the movie scene I've been waiting to happen.
The moment the guy said, "my biggest mistake was not being with you."
And after that, I'd look straight in his eyes and let him know it was right, and I'd kiss him.
Everything would be okay because we knew we would have each other,
But that's not what happen.
He stood out side of my car,
Anxious, scared, confused
He asked me to borrow a movie.
Not just any movie,
A movie that we both loved and shared,
That whenever we watched it, we thought of each other
The movie that brought us together years ago
Reading the subtitle of his words
I knew he thought he messed up.
That day in Decemeber, he lost me
A girl that loved him
A girl that could never forgive, but never forget
The girl that loved that boy, but didn't love her.
My boots were barely on as I stormed out of your doorway.
I left without a reason,
Without saying goodbye,
I just left.
But he said goodbye to me the moment he said those words to me,
His true intentions instintly became the reality I was always afraid to see,
Because you see, this boy was the only I saw gold and time in.
I saw purity in his soul,
The intentions of god that others could not witness, but I saw them.
I was proud of him.
He said good bye to me, the moment he broke that hope,
He walked away before I step out of his house,
Before I ever put my boots and struggled with the zipper of my coat.
He said nothing, as did I
The silence that was always louder than our words had finally won
That Decemeber, I knew things could never be the same
I loved you so much my heart hurt,
I felt that intolerable pain in my chest, as I ran to my car.
Everything became a blur to me,
That moment all the memories I had held on to oh so tight,
Became a lie,
something that was hidden by an invisible cloth
It could not be seen by the fool in love
I sat in my car in a second of pure silence,
I couldnt' think,
I couldn't feel,
I just sat.
My heart started to beat faster than a drum,
I panicked,
And I couldn't have reversed any faster out of a drive way than I did that day
In the middle of the street diagonally i stayed there, while my foot laid on the break ready to put my car in drive,
I ubruptly stopped.
He ran out of his house screaming my name,
Telling me to stop,
We both knew he didn't mean the car, or me leaving.
Its almost kinda sad, two lost souls who are afraid to speak,
Who are afraid to love.
He banged his hands on my window, and in that second so much happened when your eyes interlocked.
I felt it,
He felt it,
We both knew.
You knew that day in decemeber when the sky was gray and cool that nothing was the same.
I rolled my window down and a breeze of nothing hit my skin
Shocked I looked at him, but missing his eyes.
Holding my breath and my tears
The air was muted
He could not see the pain my eyes held because I could not face him.
He finally said something, something so irrelevant it cringed my skin
The dreamer I am,
thought finally the movie scene I've been waiting to happen.
The moment the guy said, "my biggest mistake was not being with you."
And after that, I'd look straight in his eyes and let him know it was right, and I'd kiss him.
Everything would be okay because we knew we would have each other,
But that's not what happen.
He stood out side of my car,
Anxious, scared, confused
He asked me to borrow a movie.
Not just any movie,
A movie that we both loved and shared,
That whenever we watched it, we thought of each other
The movie that brought us together years ago
Reading the subtitle of his words
I knew he thought he messed up.
That day in Decemeber, he lost me
A girl that loved him
A girl that could never forgive, but never forget
The girl that loved that boy, but didn't love her.
