the numbness well it invades my soul, as I sit here and gaze at my two friends laughing, and smiling, and being innocent.
ii feel it creeping under my skin,
clawing it's way back inside,
scavenging for any bits of pieces,
to chew up and throw away,
I can feel it, whispering that your not good enough to be that happy, that you will never be able to view a simple, laugh the same way again.
that the glimpses of happiness through others eyes, will torture you,
that you indeed are not alright,
that your memories will come back.
that this numbness will become you, yet again.
that hey this is better than that other feeling.
that other feeling.
I remember now.
oh yeah, the way it would embody my entire being,
the way I fought it,
the way I gave up to it,
to the blade,
to it's infinite promises.
that other feeling.
oh yeah, I remember now, you let it hurt you,
you let it get to you.
why does their comments matter, who gives a ****?
but what my voices keep saying is that well I do.

and then I realize, I would rather despise every breath, every glimpse, every blink, every heart beat, than be numb.
the numbness, doesn't even subside with a blade,
oh how I wish they could stay like that forever in that, pure, bliss, that nonchalant happiness
that moment in which their identities shine through....
the moment in which you, your breath is taken away, and no you do not want it back, but this time you simply do not want to escape their enchantment.