The happiness is what breaks me.
Would I be better off with no memory,
Of sun streaked highways and easy smiles
That face
That I wont forget
The heaven in his eyes
and long winded echoes of laughter
coming from some girl
in my body?
Would I be better off with no memory
And instead
Only grey?
So when I look back
The contrast doesn't hurt
The hands I now hold
are clammy
and the smell of pheromones
and filth
doesn't fulfill me,
like before.
Although this life is sweet
still the memory
of sun streaked highways,
when I twirled my fingers
in the wind
of the open car window,
my hair flapping,
when I was
more
than beautiful.
Still the memory returns
gaping at
some girl
of long ago
still inside of me.
Would I better off with no memory
so that the clammy hands
and clumsy footing
wouldn't bring me back
to the feeling that there was something greater.
The happiness is what breaks me.
Would I be better off with no memory?
so I could feel nothing
or everything
without a silver stream
clouding my new dream
Would I be better off with no memory?
So that this moment in front of me
is complete
For it
would be all,
All
that I would have
ever  
known.