I... lied
for the first time in my life
a true lie

I regret it
and want to cleanse myself of the guilt
and this horrendous evil

This time
my lie was not a deceiving answer
I saw the pity in her eyes
and I knew that she already had her information
she was trying to confirm it
and i lied.

I. lied.

I didn't even look at her eyes
Like i usually do
I just
looked down and around

She knows
She knows
She knows

I cannot hid it
the guilt will ****** me
but the lie

oh, such a stupid one

but the way she asked me

"is everything alright?"
It made me jump
I knew it would happen
I knew she would ask me
just
not come close and whisper with sympathy

I have never lied before
and this is the last time
i will lie

the guilt is unbearable
and
I cannot keep it from her
but also
I don't want to do anything stupid
but the only way to clean this guilty
feeling off

is to tell her
I will not lie
because the sympathy and kindness
reflected in her eyes so brightly
a quasar would be dimmer

oh, this guilt
it truly is the ultimatum
The way she perked when she saw me
close enough to come bounding to me
then to say a whisper and leave

that just killed me
i wanted to break down and cry my heart out
but i couldn't
not in that place


no..