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Jan 2014
I hate the way it changed everything.

The size of my waist, even the shape of my face.

I hate the way it destroyed my morals,

burned them to nothing right in front of my face,

and how it gives me every trait that I absolutely hate.

I hate how it gives me vision that accents every flaw on my skin,

I hate the way I grind my teeth,

and how I can never fall asleep.

I hate how I can’t sit still,

and how I’m intrigued by all of the meaningless things.

I hate how empty it has made me,

and how it has introduced me to much darker things.

Convincing me that crystal and tar is all I’ll ever need.

I hate how it makes me feel too powerful,

too confident,

too invincible.

I hate how it makes me speak my mind,

even if it gets me in trouble.

Addiction has taught me a lot.

It has allowed me to look through the eyes of someone I never thought I’d be.

By becoming a shell of a human being,

I have been given the ability to be reborn.
Gaining a new found passion in the world around me.
Almost a year clean.
Kamri Leigh Boutin
Written by
Kamri Leigh Boutin
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