i hate myself because i go out of my way to get attention and pity
sometimes it's hard for me to understand why
but then i walk into a house
where the people who are guaranteed to love me forever
unconditionally and without restraint
ignore me,
taunt me,
would rather me disappear than exist in their explosive prison
and i know i'm better off on the outside,
when i can get out of here, things will be okay,
but to be cast off every day,
to be ignored and shut off and secluded
from the only family i'm supposed to be guaranteed?
well that ******* hurts
and so i guess i'm not looking for attention
so much as proof
that someone out there really does care
someone in the world can see me.
i look for it in ****** ways, i know
but **** if i don't have a reason to be an attention *****