i keep punching at this brick wall.
and i know,
that i cannot knock it down
with such fragile hands
but that doesn't cease my hands
from striking its surface
cuts and bruises
decorate my hands
spilling out red, crimson fluid
my knuckles are black and blue
and maybe even a little purple
my hands are turning numb
and i'm beginning to lose
all feeling
but i think i may like it
i feel them coming
back to life again
so i strike harder
clenching my fists.
gritting my teeth.
closing my eyes tight
i don't really
see anything now
just a world of
pure and utter darkness
(but i'm not scared)
and i know,
that my efforts are pointless
and that i am hurting myself
way more than i am
making progress
of damaging this wall
even a little
but i keep at it
because after so long
of feeling nothing
i want to feel something
(even if it hurts)