she said she didn't mind hanging out
we had had plans
and then we had an argument
and so when she just "didn't mind"
i sure as hell did. it hurt. made me angry.
so i was trying to avoid her.
and i ran into her.
she came over to me - hugged me. said hello.
then she started avoiding me the very same day.
i wonder if for her that moment snapped something.
i wonder if she could even tell that i was in the middle of a panic attack
i wonder if she could tell that not only could i barely breathe when i hugged her
but that i choked back hot tears
only mostly successfully
a few leaked out
they were too heavy