You moved like the night sky
in my dreams last night
midnight blue
the way the stars danced with you
and I sang
each of their names
every time the light hits your face
I watched you smile
and laughed
as my heart broke
until the cold wind wrapped me
in his arms
and kissed me
until I wept.

Sometimes I forget the bruises
and creep under your covers
and sleep in your embrace
knowing full well
there will be blood
on these sheets come morning
and we dissolve into air
like dry cigarette smoke
or the last notes of scent
that stays hidden
in some dark corner on a rainy day
waiting for me to take it home.

Have I ever told you
what I wanted to be most,
in life?
I want to be someone's ***** secret,
hidden and ripe
I believed that I wanted to be yours
truly and only
But you had no use for secrets
no space to clear your head
you'd rather chase land, air and sea
than watch stars kiss sea
with me

Don't you see
that I don't care
for all the crimes you've done
or your mad existence
or the women you've loved before
I only care that you are real
But you're still some character in some book
waiting to be written
And however I write in blood or in tears
I still can't give birth to your name
I only have your voice in my head
Somewhere, you exist.

I am made of a thousand glittering pieces
Some clothed in shining radiance,
others sharp as knives
petulant in their disgrace.
I am in pieces
and I fear I cannot give
you everything of me
for some of my pieces were
lost, stolen, given freely
never to return.
I make myself up in words
to fill in the cracks
Sometimes all I have are words
burning bright as the sun
and though it burns my throat
and I have blisters on my tongue
to ravish you, mind and body
I say them like a prayer
falling on deaf ears.
But you refuse to hear me sing,
too personal, you say.

I never knew the sound
of a thousand pieces crashing then.
And now I learned
You are nothing,
Until you are everything to me.