have you ever lost someone?

not as in they passed away but as in they found someone better
or they simply just couldn't take you anymore
and they leave you on that cliff to fall
and eventually you do and you know you're going to die
and as you
p
  l
    u
       m
          m
              e
                 t
to your unforeseen death
but when it hits you you're still alive
you're still breathing
but everything about you hurts.
the way you look to the way you feel
the way your eyes stopped sparkling with you talk about your passions
to the way your lips mutter the words that use to have meaning
and you find yourself here
in this filled notebook with your thoughts and ideas
and the words that are brought to life on the paper
hurt you to see what you've created inside
to what your wrist has formed
and all you can think about is what you did wrong
people question as to why you lose yourself
over a friend
but maybe that friend had more meaning than the white crayon
maybe they meant as much as your first dollar or your brother's old baseball cards

and you begin to realize that as you lose yourself
on this page

your friend doesn't.
a.c.