3:15 AM
And I'm searching for meaning
I'm ******* searching for meaning
Drained exhausted
But I still got 'bout 3 more chapters to study
And I don't want to study
Cause I'm searching for meaning
It would be easier if this meant more for me
I secretly wish I didn't have these blessings
Cause I'm searching for meaning
I'm not convinced ..
How lame is that
I'm not convinced .
I hate that girl in the movie that keeps falling
The emotionally ****** up
Keeps ******* up
Wants attention
Wants help
dependant
She keeps falling
And I keep falling
I hope I'm not that character
want to be the badass that grew cold and strong
But it seems like I'm growing weak
The future is soo bleak
It's like I'm playing hide and seek with myself
I keep disappearing on myself
Like where did I go
I used to be so strong
So hopefull
My horoscope says im the most optimistic sign    
They must be lyin'
Cause you know that feeling
When you just wanna stay sad
You don't want to get over it cause it's hurting you that bad
Now where's the optimisim in that ?    
Feels like I'm a crumbling soul    0
I've grown so bitter and so old
I'm creating drama
That's what my mom says
My sign says I hate drama
Lol
They must've mistaken my birth date
Let's just hope tomorrow I find me again
Cause I'm starting to enjoy the pain
and I don't even seem to be good at writing poems anymore
Must be goin insane ..