3 am and my head's still pounding, I've had this migraine for days…Temples throbbing, nerve endings exploding, like a rabid animal being sentenced to a barb wire cage with no food to eat and room to breathe. Thoughts are deadly. Fighting, bleeding, suffering in deep rooted pits of anxiety. My synapses are in full combat, but I'm a pacifist.

I can feel it now. The change, the shift. I feel it. The voices, drumming, I can hear it, the fire, it's burning, flesh rotting. I can smell it, Like it's all being cooked up in one big  rotten stew, except there is most definitely meat in it, and I'm a vegetarian.

I am a child of darkness sworn to her own demons that were locked up long ago in treasure chest deep inside her old bedroom closet, Although I swear to you I never wanted things to be this way. It just happened. But know this, I am still holy, still pure, my tears still fall as transparent across the curve of my cherub face. I never wished to be so naïve. It's just that my heart is in shambles, and I gravitate towards almost anything that promises healing. This is why I have so many scars. They run left and right in a funny pattern from the carelessness of others trampling their ***** feet all over the delicate terrain of my heart.

But I'm tired now
And my insides are in knots.

I can still feel it. The light, I see it. It's always been there and shining, always been calling, begging, reaching out for one swift touch to the tip of my finger, but I've been too afraid to answer. It's always been so warm and inviting calling my name. I can taste it…bitter spoilers. I'm almost there. I've just a few things left to do here. Just give me a moment.


please