The Wizard Of Because

I live in a lap of luxury,
never again will I go hungry.
Life has been good so far,
big house and a fancy car.
Fame, fortune and power,
ten heads in my giant shower.
Can't remember last time when,
I slept at a cheap ****** inn.
Once was lost, now I'm found,
just like a dog in a pound.
Used to be naked, now fully clothed,
my whereabouts are undisclosed.
Every day is a new adventure,
cash only, never a debenture.
I have powers beyond belief,
some say, I'm just a common thief.
Can cure sickness, with just one touch,
if you have a broken leg, drop that crutch.
The future passes before my eyes,
I have unlimited amounts of supplies.
Not a disease, I can't cure,
cancer and aids are no more.
Been on Oprah, been on Ellen,
neither bought what I was selling.
Won the lottery sixteen times,
I've prevented many of crimes.
You can call me what you will,
my face is on the million dollar bill.
People pay to see me in action,
I love seeing their ****** reaction.
Now that I have your undivided attention,
ruling the world is my true intention.
Put people and things, in their rightful place,
**** half the world, we need the **** space.
No more busy streets,
no more money or stupid receipts.
Not a single crowded mall,
handicapped people standing tall.
No more standing in long lines,
no more tickets, no more fines.
No more government laws,
it's good to be the wizard of because.