We can't get clean, too tainted
Brutal words dirtied our mouths
Pushed together then yanked apart
Dissected, diverted, polluted
Hearts beating too fast or too slow
Never a normal rate, never resting
Snow buries the memories, and words do, too
Used to read you your horoscope
Hoping it would have something to do with Scorpio
(that's my sign)
But it never did, and our signs actually were destined to be enemies
I believe in signs, and I ignored them all
Because I happen to believe in miracles
But our hearts oozed out into the gutter that day
As I stared at the insanity built like a wall between us
I still fear it will never come down
You locked yourself in the car
Loving someone can drive you mad
And I'm not okay with that anymore
I want to be alone and read books
And enjoy my world without you
Because I can't remember being without you
But I can't remember your face anymore, either
Just the pulsing veins in your jaw
Like I spent years wrapped up in unreliable static
I am grateful the memories are starting to fade
I don't love you anymore, yet I don't love you any less
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year
From a few hundred miles away