I walk the line between loving cautiously with my mind, and loving recklessly with my heartbeat.
It's like a secret.
I keep pace with my life, but
I know I can weave a rhythm into everything I do-
"I love you, I love you, and more." with every step.
I move on and everyone sees me forward bound,
But I ground every footfall in the knowledge that there are nights I will pray to like altars,
Things I will sacrifice just to remember I want to.
This is what I am.
My body ain't a temple, but my heart is.
In there I stand so still I barely dare to breathe,
Because what if I kick up the gold dust heaped in patterns on the floor,
And destroy the map of where you've gone that I've drawn with my fingers?
And the air will shimmer with the fact that I've forgotten-
No.
Not a sigh too deep, or I won't see your face in my mind when I close my eyes.
I forge on out here, and I am ready to be everything scary and new,
And these months everybody will see the big picture- that my scars
Are paint-by-numbers,
Embossed on my skin in designs of roses and fairylands,
Ready to be art.
They'll see that I can make my footsteps ring like earthquakes.
And inside I will move slow and soft like rose petals,
Afraid to kick up that dust and skew the image.
I'll marry fast and slow, skin and sinew,
I'll meld my love with my defiance and this world
Will be different
Because I am in it.