it seems that
i must make of myself
an observable universe
because no one else
is going to
do it for me.

i must document
and take note.
photograph
and make marks.

think about my marks.
my words.
my actions.

think about
thinking about
my marks.
my words.
my actions.

look at myself
closer and closer and closer.
micro and mega

seek pattern
seek chaos
seek unity

but see myself
see myself
see myself
see the gripping hand
feel the tightening chest
see wall
after wall
after wall
after wall
come slamming down.