i still feel self hated’s foliage
wedge its way into the garden i am currently trying
to cultivate for myself.
and on most days,
it’s still hard for me to look in the mirror.
but despite how much i still think of dying
it is no longer myself I want to ****. it is the parts
that were trying to **** me.
i can barely remember your lips and
i completely forget how your voice sounds.
and that’s the tragedy i suppose,
once you forget the sound of somebody’s voice
you know that’s really when detachment
is finally setting in and making a home
underneath each and every one of your scars.
i still think it’s sad,
the way it all ended. how you can keep on
loving someone even though they’re long gone
from your each and every day.
i still want to call you, ask how you are.
but i don’t because i’m not that person anymore.
you don’t matter as much to me as you once did.
and i think that’s beautiful because it’s honest.
remember how much we hurt each other?
good. i hope you never forget.
remember how much we loved each other?
good. i hope you always remember.
some things will always be worth remembering.