we always believe forever. the concept of
your fingers in my spine.
kneading until our bones turn to ash.
there were too many sings. neon.
flashing.
warning.
warning.
warning.
it was a pile up i could never have
prevented.
your lips moved like ribbons upon gifts,
smooth, flowing, not once did your lips
crack.
but your actions moved like snow melting,
i never knew when it began and when it
finished.
when it all is over, i hope the grass will be green.
i hope it won’t be like the color of your eyes, though.
with your mother in New Mexico, you would
speak for me. tell her what i wanted,
closing my throat with your straight forward
cowardice.
with my friends in bars, you would slink behind
my already torn open lungs, refusing to
participate outside your comfort
zone.

i used to believe i couldn’t live without you.
but i can live without anyone, if i try hard enough.

you would think of me in brief sentences, i always
thought of you in papers with too lengthy of conclusions.
remember how we would argue about
who loved each other more?

we both know who the winner is.
your brain was my recluse, but your heart
was just a balloon.

i never figured how to blow it
back up.