i don't know much
about life and love
but i know far too much
about falling apart
and the hatred for this city
and those around you
who watched you fall
but did not extend a hand
to help you up
they simply watched
with looks far too amused
pressed upon lips
that once said, 'i love you'
and eyes that once read, 'i need you'
until you began to crumble
and realization struck
(there were no meds)
(there was no therapist)
(there was no one to turn to)

"it's over and i'm so sorry,
but i woke up one morning
and i just didn't care
it's not you, it's me."

you speak with such
elegance and such class
(sarcasm)

but it's okay because
i never
loved
you

"if you love me
let me go"

your tight grip against my wrists
thumbs digging into my veins
teeth clawing into necks
hooked on kisses i never really felt
and words that never really meant
anything to either of us

yet we're here
and letting go isn't an option anymore
i can't get you out of my head
where you got lost in my thoughts
and made a home for yourself
like a parasite
the doctor just says i'm depressed
(ativan, prozac, celexa, ambien)
but no, no, i know it's you
and your slow whispers
telling me how worthless i am

*don't you think i already know?