I'm the insecure type
But to an extreme
I don't believe anybody loves me
I always feel like there is some motive behind it
I've never fully accepted any lovers or friends
I constantly think I am annoying
A nuisance
But it's really my insecurities
That cause all the problems
I'm so insecure that I won't even open myself up to my family
My family
Family doesn't judge and it loves unconditionally
Well not in my mind
I won't go on certain trips with them
I won't visit certain family members due to embarrassment
Where does this embarrassment even come from?
This insecurity
To where it corners me and limits me to nothing
It comes from within me
It can't come from outside
Because everyone around me tells me
That I'm loved and accepted
But I will never believe them
I can't have a lover
I can't have a confidant
I can't have many friends
I'm always afraid
Constantly living in fear of being rejected
Not only am I insecure
But I'm overly loving
I love everyone because I sometimes wonder if they're like me
In which case, I want them to feel love
Real love
So I pour my heart out to everybody in my path
This is a deadly combination, though
Because I give everyone everything
But I accept nothing
It's like I pour my heart down a drain
And feel nothing but pain
Emptiness
I hope I'm not like this forever