Granted with solitude
Becoming too familiar,
I sank into crinkled sheets and sobbed
While Loneliness hovered,
Lingered,
Embodied and so absolute
That its shadow projected on the gaps
Between aging artwork on my wall,
Having the impression of a spider I once knew,
Who was weaving along those very gaps
Its own artwork,
Which too would have aged,
Had I not taken its life with a dusty tissue box -
A memory like a cloudburst over my heart,
Flooding its hollow chambers with regret:
If only I had kept that spider around,
Perhaps by now it would be calling this house its web,
It would have multiplied
Blessing me with generations of natural listeners -
For I would speak my mind
And they would skillfully translate
Each vibration from my mouth -
I would see my thoughts reflected in their webs.
Why did I insist on killing?
Defensively I announce, "I am fearful
Of its poison!"
But that is no justification
For I have witnessed such poisonous Love
...
And the way it would have
Hurried along my flesh
Could have very well been the same.
Whether poisonous or affectionate,
A spider's company
Is better than none.
Shamefully, I stare at a wall
That bares no such creature,
But the shadow, rather, of Misery's lover
Who will never feel this exhausting solitude
For Loneliness is never lone
So long as I am Misery.