I find myself constantly searching my body for the wound
the wound that penetrated through my skin
& made it to my heart
I don't know when I was shot
with such emptiness & pain
I seemed to feel this way after I lost you
without you I constantly feel like
I am starting down a barrel of a 45
& instead of bullets, it's loaded with depression & anxiety
& I hate to look up to see who's behind the trigger

because I know it's you.
a.c.