I don't know...
I know the things I want in life
I want a family
I want to open a bakery
I want to be a grandparent
die old, retired, and happy

But I don't know
I don't know if I'll get married
and if I do get married
I don't know if I'll get divorced
or have children
or be able to open my bakery

For all I know
I could die young
I may not fall in love again
Or maybe I will fall in love
but be barren and not be able to have kids

There is beauty in the unknown
there is also a ton of anxiety
but beautiful in that your life could be anything
no matter what plans you have
no matter how determined you are
no matter what means you come from
life is spontaneous and unpredictable
like New England weather
or a cat -
no one knows what cats are up to...
they are

Unpredictable and subject to change
No matter what we want we need to be pliable
and ready for change when it hits
because it will happen to us
we will be given something unexpected
and we will have to mold and adapt

I'm learning this the older I get
I don't know how my life will end up
I could die today
or in 50 years, there's no way of knowing
so I don't know
I guess I just have to keep hoping my plans
come to fruition but I don't know if they will
and it worries me
just because the unknown is beautiful
don't make it any less scary
and I'm scared
simply because
I don't know.