I really just want to cry,
Just let it all out.

I don't know why
I feel this filled with doubt.

I'm kind of done
And I no longer see the fun
In prolonging this pain.

There's nothing I could do..
I just can't keep sane.

And

As I look around,
I see smiles,
Hear laughs
which makes me wonder...
How these people can live without breaking a sweat.

It's pretty inspiring they can stay
This strong ...
I used to be strong,
But then I grew weak
And ended up doing the wrong
That shan't be speaked.

Since then I have started to pray
Every single day for his help
To get me through this horrid phase.

But...I guess I don't pray hard enough
Or
Have a big enough faith.

So...
The reality,I assume,is
I'm forever lost in this place.