I can't trust anymore.
It's okay- don't fuss.
Really, I'm fine.
I'm not upset about it.
The concept of trust has always-
Theory, been a loose concept.
Maybe it was never real in practice.
I mean let's be honest-
Theory always sounds better-
Practice is just...a bore to us.
This idea that you can behold
Someone's secrets in entirety and not-
Say a word?...
I know people crack eventually...
And why is it we,
As humans-
Think it acceptable that when
We are friends or companions no longer-
Those secrets are free game?
Trust is just your prop-
You play it.
Get bored of it.
Then throw it away like it was never useful in first place-
I don't trust anyone, anymore.
Flicking through my phone each morning
While I lay dead asleep next-
To you?
The one person I thought-
Might keep my secrets.
My trauma.
My aching to be seen as more than an add on to our relationship.
Do you remember the concert?-
The one in London with the flashing lights and the heavy metal band,
Safe, did I feel in your arms.
Trust I did exude.
You broke that within seconds-
Not even a hairs length of a warning-
You abandoned me.
You whispered all night up until the doors opening-
"I'll be right here..."
So where were you?-
When that man grabbed me and pulled me into the pit.
Where I was touched and mauled by too many hands-
You were fucking gone.
I took the train by myself while calling my friend in- a panic.
At least... I could still trust her.
Right?-
I could still trust...you- right?
Cassie?
You didn't answer that night.
You stopped answering the following nights.
Neither of you did...-
What were you doing?...
I had to call my mother.
Tears, A fountain- Actually,
Cascading down my face as I walked those littered streets
Alone.
While you were likely whispering sweet nothings-
Into the shell of her ear like an oath.
And you? Cassie?-
You melted under it.
So yeah-
I can't trust anymore.
Fuck the both of you.